strange&recent things in this month

sat. july 4th- I took a 13$ taxi from the city, exhausted from the entire day's events. When i swiped my card inside the taxi it was declined. OH SHIT! i only had 2$cash, so I told the driver i would borrow money from my roommate, but of course one was even in my floor...so i never went back down. oh man, i felt so bad.

sun. july 5th- The church pastor talks about how every action has a consequence.
We went to the HighLinePark for the second time, and i got a 50$ ticket because I stepped on the grass. The security fat guy said if i keep laughing so 'disrespectful' there'd be a warrant for my arrest. what!? lol but but it's a park!
-while this fight was going down Mike Myers walks right by....

was that ticket karma from july 4th ? like Common says "Karma is a bitch and i know that she bites"...

Finally, we went!

I spen this friday nigh at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe, listening to strong spoken word and at the end of the night, the 12th 'open mic' person was me!

read my poem "To Do" here

Nuyorican Poets Café is a non-profit organization in Alphabet City, Manhattan. It is a bastion of the Nuyorican art movement in New York City. Home to NYC's freshest artists, is a multi-cultural community dedicated to artistic empowerment and creative diversity.

what the?

It was pretty beautiful hearing everyone blasting Michael Jackson songs all over the streets of Brooklyn.

NY Times-

“His race was very blurry,” said Ning Liu, 28, an electrical engineer who moved to the Chicago suburbs from China four years ago.

Still, it was Mr. Jackson’s changeability that, in part, allowed him to resonate with millions of people around the world.

Mr. Liu, who went to Gary to place flowers outside Mr. Jackson’s childhood home, said: “His voice, his look, the way he did things — it didn’t fit the stereotype people had of black people. People were not afraid of him.”

"That's Why We Don't Eat Animals"

Ruby Roth is an artist, author, and teacher living in Los Angeles. A vegan since 2003, Roth was teaching art in an after-school program when the children’s interest in healthy foods and veganism first inspired her to write "That's Why We Don't Eat Animals"

lately

"life changes in the instant" -Joan Didion

"Wow" i told myself, "what a cool boss i have now!" when i got my new job.
Three weeks later, my boss had to leave for personal reasons. For three weeks though she was a cool-ass bitch whom i laughed with and talked about everything to in Spanish. Our cubicle was like a working beauty salon, not too loud though-the real big boss is around the corner. Filing paper didn't seem that bad. It was kinda okay. The day she left she told me in one sentence, everything that i've been trying to say for a long time.It just rolled right out of her lips "Once you get used to people they fade away, but that's life." The perfect words to sum up a lot. Investing in myself and my family while expecting nothing from anyone else would benefit me more than seeing how shit has been going down. As Kim would call it, people are "let downs". I wrote every single person a letter. I don't want to see anymore disappearing acts in my life, fuck that. I'm good where i am and with who i already have.
My mom told me before i went to Florida the last time, "why is it that everyone you bring to the house always turns out to be a bitch?" "but this is different mom! I know it!" Ha! my mom, that woman is always fucking right. "Mejor solo que mal acompañado" is the old Spanish saying that i now really learned. Better alone than poorly accompanied.

MOVIE- Food Inc.

Faster, Fatter, Bigger, Cheaper...

"FROM: Hassel Lopez SUBJECT: lol i talk too much crap..."

So Hassel emailed me, after one of our long conversations, something very interesting, it is about why some people ( those who aren't crazy ) cannot realize or admit that what they do to themselves or others can be really fucked up; and if they do, why the fuck don't they stop? And why do other people try and help and then get caught in a whole other mess. UGH. But Hassel is pretty smart I would say, and thought it through....


(sic)
"Ok, so i took a break from writing my thesis! And came up with this crap. It's about what we were talking about today. Go to the link when you get to the name Tantalus(I hope it makes sense. Message me if anything)


It’s amazing how it takes people years to realize that they have lost themselves in trying to fix everyone’s lives. It’s horrible to think that precious time and thoughts you’ve devoted to others were time and thought that you could have dedicated to enriching yourself, instead of spending it on unappreciative people who would not know how to deal with life even if the answer slapped them on the face.

Granted, we all need help sometimes. I’ve come to realize that in order to live in peace we have to be a little selfish about most of the things that matter. This is to not be misinterpreted as to say we should be self-centered, and without empathy rather, it is to say we can help each other only if our peer is willing to help themselves first. This is the key. When we help others or think we can help others our desire to help clouds the fact that every mind is of its own, that every heart and mind can only be penetrated if it is willing to let you through. Otherwise our effort is in vain and alike Tantalus reaches in vain for water and luscious fruits, we will torture ourselves because we know the answers but are unable pass on the awareness of the obvious happiness they cannot see.

So here’s my conclusion, every person owns their own life. No one will take care of you in the toughest times, because it’s too difficult to deal with own lives and someone else’s too. It’s a matter of choosing, between ourselves and others. Problem is when we choose ‘others’ we lose ourselves and down the line realize we are completely empty inside , because we have nothing left for ourselves.


BYE
Hassel"

This is [now] five years old.

Kanye's first album "The College Dropout" is one of my favorite albums ever, released in 2004 when he was humble and I was in high school. However a lot has changed since through the years. According to Wiki-"The album was recorded over a period of four years, beginning in 1999. After years of work that West underwent in order to establish himself as an artist, after dropping out of college to pursue his dream of becoming a musician, he emerged into the mainstream with his debut studio album. Upon its release, the album became a massive commercial success, expressing three ten top singles and selling over 441,000 copies in its first week alone. The College Dropout is widely considered a musical masterpiece, garnering 'universal acclaim' by critics.The album received a Grammy nomination for Album of the Year and won Best Rap Album and Best Rap Song. It has since gone on to sell over three million copies."

He has just now though, released the video he directed of one the top songs from that album. What? after five years? Why? Well, take a look at his video and at the real sampled video/song by Marvin Gaye "Distant Lover".

SaturDAYS

omg quotes

"Did I tell you my purse and external hard-drive got on fire? Oh! I didn't tell you, it was that night I put it on top of my cigarette. That sucked, but whatever" -Kim

"It's like killing two birds with one stone...but who wants to kill two birds?" -me

"YOU ARE WHO YOU ATTRACT"

to be continued...

last edit-to read in front of errbody at the cafe fri.

"To Do"

"Don't have a seizure, you'll ruin her birthday" she told me.
I feel like I have chained feet even though
my soul has always been free.
Free like the smiles you get from
seeing white people dance, kitties sleep
and free like the papers everyone in the streets tries to give you.
but-
whenever you tell me these words
that make up these sentences that just hurt my soul,
I feel closer to the earth than I have ever been.
All I want to do is fly,
like those birds in Brooklyn,
Just ride a bike, swim, drive a car.
But like your words that state the obvious,
my epilepsy is stated in my Florida ID.
Obvious every time I begin to stare
stare, drool or talk unconsciously and maybe even shake.
You rinse limited facts about my life in your thick dirty mouth
and pour them out with a simple language that I cannot deny,
because in the end it's all honest, no matter how much it hurts.
Every time I see a bike pass by, it's wheel's seem like wings.
Swimming like "damn!" and sighs
But I will learn to do everything, because right now, in this moment
no matter what you tell me,
I am in between.
I know my seizures will go away,
I am strong like the earth and it's sky
No matter how skinny my arms seem.
No matter how invisible the sky seems,
it will always, always, always
be here
for me.

-based off my old boss whom made me almost believe i was handicapped.

"things to experience"

Esperanza Spalding's music reminds me of all the struggle I went through to get my paper filing, hole punching 9-5 job, recession I tell you! Like if Talib Kweli did some Jazz...like a beautiful struggle, something you just have to listen to.

Start of a better summer in the recession on film

"Laughing with"

Regina Spektor's new single "Laughing with" from her newest album "Far" is brilliant and honest. The video is to be released any one of these days. Here's this for now.

Laughing With - Regina Spektor

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane start to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine or fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’ve lost all they’ve got
And they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize
That the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God when they’re saying their goodbyes
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God

Fresthetic Gallery Brooklyn

Robert Trujillo's solo show in Fresthetic Gallery in Williamsburg.

These photos below were taken by Mikey the Conscious Hustler

5.18.09

You opened my ears to things I had never heard
things I never knew existed.
From my ears to my hands there are so many basic things
I appreciate now
And drinking here now this margarita,
watching you play your music
I feel so guilty
guilty for spending six of my Mother's dollars,
when she is paid $6.50 an hour.
My mother is a janitor,
and I am completely broke, trying to graduate.
Drinking the six dollars,
hearing these strings,
I feel like a ghost is following me around.
The colder my hands become from this glass,
I become numb to everything and everyone around me,
sync into sound.
You told me once that you sometimes believed in God
only
because of music.
Well you hear your music through your own ears and voice.
How could God not exist?

The power of words

Barack Obama, himself a best selling author, will host a group of poets, musicians and actors at the first ever White House Poetry Jam (not slam).
I guess we should've known after Wanda Sykes!
awesome.